The start of a new journey

Hello to the world of blogging!

This is all new to me so you will have to bare with me. I have read blogs by other people on various topics and have wanted to create my own for a little while. I’m not sure if anyone else will read my babble but I am hoping that it will be a cathartic experience for me and will act as a place where I can vent my highs and lows in an anonymous way. I have been told time and time again that sharing feelings can be helpful so here it goes…

I'll go into a brief history as to what head lead me to this.

I was raped when I was 14 at a local fairground. I won’t go in to too much detail about this but unfortunately for me, the man was found not guilty. That is where my problems started, although at the time I didn’t realise the impact it would have on my mental health in later life. Looking back, I think I developed bipolar in my teens although I can’t be entirely sure when it started but it was definitely after that incident. I have always been a sunshine and showers type of person.

I started to see a psychotherapist last year and he really helped me come to terms with what happened to me and I felt that after ten years, I finally put that part of my life to bed. However, I began to open up about other aspect of my life which were causing me problems, namely the relationship I have with my mum – I will go in to that in another post. This sent me in to a deep depression and I took my first overdose in November.

I have been backwards and forwards with nhs but didn’t really get anyway or receive any support. I am lucky that my work are paying for me to see a private psychiatrist and I feel I am on the bumpy road to recovery.

I felt that now is a good time to start this blog as I am currently in a depressive state and am incredibly low – but who knows what tomorrow will being. Hopefully my depression will lift and I will be back to the sunshine state again.

If anyone takes the time to read this, I would like to say thank you and also sorry for rambling on and probably boring you. But hey, it makes good reading to send you to sleep